Square dancing Hell
I guess being a Texan has one teensy eensy drawback: ever kid has to go through the (drum roll please) dreaded square dancing thing at school. Yep, they have to hold on to the sweaty palms of a person of the opposite sex--right after watching them pick their nose. They have to memorize moves and twirls and turns. They have to dress in in cowboy boots so stiff it takes an entire Lumberjack log pulling team to pull them off. They have to wear either last year's cowboy hats that squeexe the top of their heads to a pencil point or an older sibs hat that flops around their head like a banana boat, covering their eyes at the most crucial moves in the dances. But the worst is when you hit fifth grade. All the boys are two feet shorter than the girls and have to stretch their arms to ape sizes to get them over the girls' cowboy hats when they spin them around like tops. And they have to perform the most complex and confusing dance of them all. The monster that is the Neutron Dance. Frankly it looks like a bunch of kids scramble to the middle of the circle only to miraculously appear by their partner's side. It makes the Olympic event, synchronized swimming look like a pat-a-cake contest. My palms get sweaty just thinking about it.Fortunately, when someone makes a mistake, no one (even that kid) has any idea who goofed.