Elisa's Journal

Recent studies show that shy kids experience increased levels of stress hormones when in daycare. I think it's important to initiate one on one play dates as early as possible--certainly by age two. And before you place them in a day care or kindergarten, find out who some of the kids in his or her class are and arrange a series of playdates with a few of them, but one at a time. Do this well before the first day she or he starts that school/daycare. Continue this throughout the year. Also, be sure not to comment on your child's shyness with remarks like "He's my shy one," "Don't be so shy, Billy," or "Come on, say 'hi.' You're being rude." Let the child take whatever time he needs. If he picks up on your concern or frustration, it'll make him more self-conscious and will also invite him to use his shyness to manipulate. If things don't get better with these tips, consider a child psychologist who can arrange "friendship groups" to teach social skills and who can, in younger kids, use play therapy to help pull them out. These professionals can also diagnose social phobia, if present.