Ten signs you're not a spring chicken anymore
1) You've searched on the Internet for an airbrush system that works on your real face, not on the one in the foto.
2) The doctor seems to heaviliy pepper his statements with "at your age."
3) You look at cute guys and think "His Mommy must be sooo proud" instead of all those lascivious thoughts of yesteryear."
4) That part of your budget that had, at one time, been reserved for sexy lingerie, margaritas at happy hour, and false eyelashes, is now allocated for wrinkle creams and Grecian formula.
5) Liquor store clerks not only stop carding you, they look upon you with pity when you ask them if they'd like to.
6) Boy scouts keep trying to help you across the street.
7) Your family suggests a nice little trip to Alaska, then has you try on an ice floe for size and suggests you pack a big lunch for your rafting voyage.
8) You and your joints out-preform any meteorologist when it comes to predicting an oncoming low pressure system.
9) You go to bed at 8:00 PM (because you're snoring in front of All in the Family reruns, not because you want to have sex or watch the Playboy channel with your husband)
10) You get up at 5:00 AM (because you need to take your medicines and slurp down a glass of prune juice, not because you have to get the kids off to school.)