Breaking News
This just out: Michelle Nicole Medhus, age 18, is, as we speak, cleaning her room. Yes, folks, earlier reports that her room was the site where a documentary on F-5 tornadoes was being filmed are indeed false. Peering out from piles of dirty clothes, papers and other things as yet unidentified but smelly is actual carpet. Yes, that's right. Carpet devoid of jetsom and flotsam. Carpet gasping for air, snatched from the jaws of death by suffocation. Plus, she may even find some of the pets that have gone missing for the last several year. Experts say that, if she keeps her momentum up and works at it 10-12 hours a day, the entire room should be spotless within seven months. I guess the idea of going to school dressed in nothing but broiler foil didn't excite her much. Hmm. Cheer her on, people. Cheer her on!