Trip to Austin
I had a great time traveling to Austin with my travel buddy, my eldest daughter Kristina. We have such a good time giggling and cutting up. The PTA seminar went really well. Sometimes I stand before the audience before I start and think, 'Do I really have anything to offer." But afterwards, it's clear that what I've said is news to them, thank god. This morning I had to get up at 4 AM to do a TV show. No easy task to get those brain cells (both of them) to look lively without a couple of pots of caffeine.I took a cab to the station where a security guard escorted me to the "green room," and I use the term loosely. It was about 2 feet by 8 feet carpeted with, hell, I don't know what the real color of the carpet was. It probably had three tons of dirt, cigarette ash, and god knows what else. There were three or four green chairs that looked like they were donated by someone's dead grandmother. The coffee tables were empty cable spools donated by the telephone company. Other amenities: a Mr. Coffee coffepot circa 1976, not currently in operation. An inflatable owl (don't ask,) a newspaper--one week old (sadly, the articles were all new to me. Haven't been keeping up lately), three Transworld Skateboarding issues from 2002, and, well, that's about it. While waiting there feeling like an extra in a weird Fellini movie, I started to wish for an IV caffeine drip. Suddenly, I had the urge to, well, pass gas. Look, even doctors have to fart, people. But there wasn't nearly enough time to go to the bathroom so I lived in fear that I would rip a loud one off right there on the set. In bathroom stalls, you can always disguise them with a cough or clearing your throat, but on live TV? Em, I don't think so. Fortunately, the sensation subsided and my palms began to dry. The host was very nice and professional, even though she looked barely old enough to pass the Clearasil aisle of the grocery store without slowing. Afterwards, I hailed a cab. A guy that had only a handful of teeth, coke bottle glasses, and a perilously low IQ. The back seat smelled up, well, piss. I don't call it urine when it pertains to last row movie seats or taxi cabs, okay? Seriously, why the hell would a cab smell like piss? I'm not dwelling on that one. Too many weird visuals. That said, glad to be home. My husband even did everything on my "honey do" list: feed kids, have them brush teeth, and get groceries. Plus, the kids were soooooo well behaved for him! (Lucky stiff!!)