Just another day
Summer time's almost at an end. The house couldn't get messier if I unleashed a rabid bull in the living room. A couple of my kids are playing "doggie dentist" with my three dogs. Others are taping giggles and farts into a tape recorded recording at high speed then slowing it down on replay or vice versa. That's always good for laughs. The teenagers are sleeping 15 hours a day and eating the other waking hours. And it's raining so I'm stuck inside, forced to bear witness to these and more testaments to "life as usual." Actually, I took three of them to their dentist appointment. You know, that "once a year that's actually supposed to be twice a year but I always delete the 6 month one from my PDA because I'm too busy during the school year" appointment. None of them had cavities, which amazes me since their toothbrushes seem eternally dry during the summer. I'm just kidding. What freak goes around feeling other people's tooth brushes? Seriously. Plus, I don't have time. I'm too busy hoping they're not using my toothbrush on the dogs. Anyway. Moving on. I always hate being in the dental chair--for several reasons. First, like at the hair cutting place, I always feel drowsy the minute I climb into it. I feel like I have to talk to the hygenist so she won't think I'm a rude snob, but I either have nothing intelligent to say or ask or she has all ten of her fingers and a tray of sharp instruments in my mouth. When she comes up for air, I'll throw out a casual, "how's your summer going?" or "What are your kids up to?" But more often than not, she answers with "Well, we lost my cat and my mother." and "Kids? I don't have any. Remember, I've been trying for years and even spent 40 grand on in vitro but we're about to give up." It's answers like that make me wish I never opened my trap.I use to dread the dentist because I live in fear that I'll have a cavity and have to endure the horror of one of those painful shots. Now I live in fear that I'll have a cavity and will have to squeeze another appointment into my jam-packed day to get it fixed. Anyway, no one had any cavities, thank god. Plus, we all got one of those cool electric toothbrushes and a tiny tube of Crest so we can clean that nasty gritty paste they use out of our mouth and concentrate on all those places they tell us we've been neglecting. Till next year, then.