It's Official, I'm Old
Oh the horrific tragedy that has befallen me today! In other words, something realy sucky happened this morning. ALthough I'm not a smoker, I had to buy a carton of cigarettes for someone who's trying to wean off of them. (That's another story right there. Got a decade?) I paid with my credit card and reflexively plunked down my drivers license as ID--to ensure the clerk that I was indeed the cardholder. Plus, it's the best photo I've ever had on a license, so I like to flaunt. I don't look like a cross between Phyllis Diller and Don King. Yippee. SO what did the clerk do? He laughed. I mean belly laughed! And in between the gasps he said, "You're showing me your ID. Ha! That's funny. Look Joe, she showed me her ID! Ma'am, I don't need to see your ID." Gee thanks, asshole. Ya mean my stretch marks, my gray hair, the bags under my eyes, the loose skin flopping under my chin, and the droopy eyelids were clue enough? I'm never looking into another mirror for as long as I live. (Which apparently isn't as long as I thought. Where the hell is my Geritol, dammit!