Klutz Supreme
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I know that, except for one tiny little incident involving sloughing skin and recommendations of skin grafts, mine was just hunky dory. Yep. The Medhus klutz has struck again. In that Venturi tube effect that occurs an hour before the turkey is carved, I'm the usual flurry of Martha Stewart-esque activity. I pour the mixture of hot grease drippings and gravy mix into my blender and, as my eldest daughter cries out "The fill line, Mom. The fill line!!!" My finger, now on auto-pilot plunges into a death spiral toward the on/off switch. My mind (and Kristina's) is shouting a long and totured slo-mo "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and as it connects with destiny, hot greasy gravy splashed all over my arm. Skin sloughes before my very eyes. I try my best to conceal the damage and continue smiling, what the my parents sitting on the couch with hungry smiles and all, but as the hours wear on, it's all I can do to keep from screaming when Michelle shouts out, "I get the skin?" "How is it, nice and crispy? The skin's my favorite part..." Ew. As the hours march on, I develop a blister about 3.5 inches in diameter and raised with jiggly fluid about 3/4 inches tall. Cool to touch, but makes people gag. Eventually it pops, sending torrents of yellow serum flying. (Grossed out yet?) Now, I'm left with what looks like a third degree burn. It really hurts, too. Every dressing clings to it like it's life depends on it, so the dressing changes are accompanied by mournful wails punctuated by eerie shrieks. Should've been Halloween, not Thanksgiving. But the weirdest part: Kristina pointed out that my blog just prior to Thanksgiving read: "splashes of hot basting grease, and torrential gravy downpours." Psychic experience turned psycho.
All you women out there--you all can identify yourself as one of the Desperate Housewives. Me, I'm mostly Teri Hatcher with my life strewn with klutzy mishaps, but I've got some of the OCD of that redheaded chick too. I love that show!! Tell me which Desperate Housewife you are!