Long Live the Dudes
Annika and I had such a great time at the Mayan Dude Ranch. We ditched the boys, left Kristina's nose to the academic grindstone, and left Michelle to reak havoc on the entire Gulf Coast. What did we do in Bandera, Texas? More like what didn't we do! We road horses, had trail ride cowboy breakfasts, hand fed zebras and buffaloes, cuddled with a newborn fawn, road mechanical bulls, watched fireworks, caught fireflies, went tubing down the crystal clear Medina river, and galloped through the Hill Country State Park on horses owned by a private instructor, Jeanie Bobini (I felt like introducing Annika and I this way: "I Jeanie Bobini bananafana bo bini, this is Annika annika bo bannika, banana fana fo fannika and I'm Elisa Elisa bo bisa banana fana fo fisa. Nice to meet you. Whew!" But if I had done that, ANnika would never had been the same again. We also found a sick deer--a young buck, I think. We tried to stand him up but he kept collapsing on his front legs. i think he must have had some deer tick neuropathy. So I loaded him into the back seat of the Suburban and drove him to the ranch in search of someone who might euthanize him. I just couldn't see him suffering a long slow death as buzzards picked the flesh from his still writhing body. But the cowboy we met actually didn't have his gun on him. But he said he could get a holt of a buddy that did. He was fixin to meet up with him anyhow (insert Skol spit here.) I think cowboys are hot, actually. If only they were more well rounded, I'd marry off all my girls to one. It's so cute to hear them say things like, "Jimmy, the squirrels done got into the corn again last night" or "Dadnabit, the horses is eating the hay off the hay ride again!" Anyway, I came back convinced I am not a city gal. I'm a redneck deep down, without the bigot thing. If I had my way, I'd buy me a nice spread with horses and goats and peacocks--some place with a nice river running through it. Maybe one day I will, God willin and the crik don't rise. Just the thought of being able to dress like a slob the rest of my life is heavenly. Or i could just go back to the dude ranch every year.