Bicep Building
I watch DVDs every time on get on my treadmill, basically to drown out the sound of my own wheezing and panting and to get my mind off the frenetic jiggling of the cellulite on my thighs. The other week, I watched Coach Carter and had a parental epiphany. If pushups and suicides (a kind of exercise, don't panic) can tame the beast in a team of basketball players with an average high of 7 ' 8", maybe, just maybe it can make a dent in my own kids' misbehavior. So I decided to have them do a certain number of pushups every time they misbehave--when they whine to get their way, when they talk back in disrespect, when they don't do what they're asked right away, etc. It works out great because you can do it right away--no chance of forgetting to deliver the punishment which I'm notorious for. Plus, it's over with quickly. No prolonged groundings. These are so progressively lengthened with each additional transgression that they become meaningless. Not only that, it's healthful. By the end of the year, my kids will be so buff (some more than others) they'll all become spokespersons for a national athletic club chain. And when they're sore the next few days, what'll you think they'll be reminded of? Hmmm. I wonder. So far it's been going well. They're behavior has improved and their biceps have transformed from strands of overcooked spaghetti to 10 pound polish sausages. Gawd, I'm hungry now.