Brain Cell Transplant
As you can well imagine, I was quite disappointed to hear the breaking news about the lab mice that successfully received human brain cells. If I had known that were possible I would have put myself on the waiting list immediately. But nooooo, we lowly humans aren't good enough for you scientists. You guys want to grow human brains in all mice so you can have an entire army of minions who will help you match your socks, fill out your grant proposals, sew on your buttons and take over the world. I can only hope that if you had known the sorry-ass shape my brain is in after tolerating 5 "challenging" (ha, what a euphemism) kids for a couple of decades, you'd have put me, out of compassion, at the front of the line. You guys suck.