Elisa's Journal

Well, within 24 hours of begging to homeschool (and after I ordered some of the books) Annika has turned 180 degrees and is going to continue at regular school. Part of me is relieved because I can't imagine putting anything else on my plate, but part of me, that giant maternal part that comsumes my life (and brain) is sad. I won't have my baby around me 24/7. Whatever will I do? I've gotten so use to the happy idea. Fortunately, I'm too busy dusting off my brain cells, trying to remember geometry and world history, to think about pining away. Unless I put it as a recurring event on my Tungsten C, it just might not happen. Motherhood. It builds character. Motherhood, it's not a job, it's an adventure! Hmmm.

On another note, I'm excited to be going to UT's Parents Night October 29th with my eldest baby girl, Kristina. We're becoming regulars at the Four Seasons in Austin. Hell, she's pre-med, I'm whipped and beaten. We both deserve alittle pampering!

Posted by elisa at 09:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Just when I thought it was safe to get back into the water...It's been tough adding one of Erik's friends to our homeschool ensemble, but now my youngest, Annika, wants to start. She feels alienated from the rest of her sibs, who are all staying at home while she trudges off to school all bleary-eyed and who are all playing outside when she's back from school trying, despite the gnat embryo attention span, to complete her homework assignments. The last couple of days she's been complaining that she's "sick." Hmmm. She took her temperature, reported it to be around 101, but touching her forehead left me with frostnip, so I had my doubts. I told her it's okay to verbalize her worries, wants and needs without trying to form some excuse, fictitious or otherwise. I'm worried about homeschooling such a social butterfly, but on the other hand, maybe she'll learn more with fewer ears to bend. Maybe she'll benefit by more time with Mama. Maybe she'll learn more in an individualized setting tailored to her learning style. Maybe, just maybe, she'll strengthen the relationship with her sibs. What a concept. Haven't decided by I'm leaning. Over the edge. About to plummet into a huge sea of to-do's. Bigger than the one I'm already dog paddling in. I want my Mommy.

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Well the baby squirrels are doing great! They've opened their eyes and have nibbled on solid food-basically bread soaked in formula. They're so cute!! So sad I have to let them go out into the wild, but I know it's best. My maternal instincts are totally on fire, now. Course incessant pooping and getting up early to feed them douses those fires a bit, but a little nuzzle or sucking on my fingers acts like a shower of gasoline. Check out the pics.

Posted by elisa at 01:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My nine year old has been hinting (iin other words, begging in a way that doesn't make my nerve endings fire erratically) about joining our ever-growing homeschool group. I guess she feels left out. Today, she limped downstairs for breakfast, her pants leg rolled up, her eyes a semblance of a puppy whose legs have been the victims of a hit and run incident. I asked her what the dea was and she reported that she was officially maimed and would be unable to attend school. Mind you, the injury happened when she slipped while running around a pool (some lessons don't stick too well), and after 5 minutes of complaining, she was out running 100 yard dashes and playing football with her brothers and 5 other kids. I knew where this sob story was headed and called her on it. She said she wanted to homeschool for one day. She loves schools (other than Monday's) and is such a social butterfly, she'd wilt out of the shade of her pack of friends. When I asked her if she wanted to homeschool the rest of the year she responded with a resounding NO! I pretty much said homeschool isn't one of those off and on things. If she wanted to homeschool, she'd have to commit for the year. So off to school she went,completely limp-free.

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Well, our little cabin in the tundra region of Norway is starting to look like the real thing. Ahh to get myself and my kids off the grid for a few weeks. What a concept. Only the moose and grouse to harrass. Whatever will the kids do? I'll tell you what they'll do. They'll wear their little selves out hiking, cross-country skiing, and sledding. Then we adults will kick back in the evening and party like there's no tomorrow. I'll attach some pics.

Posted by elisa at 09:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'll swear my kids, especially my 11 year old, is addicted to anything containing a microchip. Sure we have a "one hour a day" rule, but with five kids, it's hard to keep track. Plus he's always using excuses like, "But I'm not playing video games, I'm hotsyncing my Palm Pilot." How 'bout hotsyncing that brain of yours, boy, so it'll regain its imagination, learn to play with sibs, and so on. Now that's a concept. Anyway, I think I've come up with a solution. I'm confiscating all controllers, PDA's, and keyboards and locking them away. My kids can "check them out" from lockup, but they have to punch a time card to get them and they have to punch a time card within a hour. If the cumulation of all"check outs" exceed an hour each day, it's no microchips then next day.

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Wouldn't no, when I thought I couldn't fit another thing on my to-do list, Annika finds a cople of newborn squirrels writhing around helplessly in my backyard. They were probably tossed from their cozy nests when a worker pruned my huge Water Oak. All attempts to re-unite with Mommy failed. So now I'm back to the every two hour feedings and wiping their butts with warm wet cloths afterwards. Supposedly, this iss vital to preventing "bloat." Don't want their little bellies to swell up, so ya have to do what the mommy does--lick their butts til they poop. Now my maternal instincts are as strong as just about every other person with 2 X chromosomes, but I draw the line on licking assholes. Yuck. If they grow up needing costly psychotherapy because they become squirrels with maladjustment syndromes, so be it. That's a chance I'm willing ot take. They are cuties though. And my Weimaraner, Zoe, loves them. When I hold them up to her, she licks them so protectively. Hopefully, not envisioning hors d'oevres. Anyway my aim is to wean them to solids once their eyes are open and minimize human contact (like that's going to happen in my house. Ha!) so that they retain a healthy suspicion of humans when released. I'll upload a couple of pics!

Posted by elisa at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Is there a support group for people like me who can't say no and wind up biting off more than they can chew? How 'bout a Looney Bin? Padded cell? With homeschool, promoting my books, speaking, taking kids to appointments, arranging birthday parties, loving on the kids, and doing everything else requiring 27 hours stuffed into a 24 hour day, I've become a frazzled shell of my former self. Now, Sean, Erik's friend, wants to begin homeschool again, and of course I can't say no. I love the guy. Although he was struggling in 7th grade, now he's kicking ass in ninth grade GT classes after my homeschooling him for 8th. He's bored and unchallenged. But it'll mean more work for me. I'm going to have to cut our something in my life. I considered cutting out baths, but people iin the tri-state region might start to complain. I considered skipping meals, but I'm too much of a glutton. I've considered sticking my head in the sand, but I have enough bad hair days in Houston as it is. ANyone have the recipe for cloning?

Posted by elisa at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I swear I'd do anything to turn back the hands of time and refuse to introduce the Internet into my house. Now that the kids can out-maneuver me when it comes to the tech world, they've found new avenues to explore that have catapulted them into the extreme sport version of the gimmies. Five seconds on the Web equate to $3000 on the wish list, I'm here to tell you. Proven research. Although the sampling size of the population was small--seven to be exact, I'm hoping you'll fall for it. All I can say is I sure as hell hope they're going to land careers that pay well or win the lotto, because I sure as heck ain't supporting the material addiction the Internet has caused. I have yanked every wireless card from their computers, installed a 50 digit password on mine, and placed my credit cards in the federal witness protection program. Dang!

Posted by elisa at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Now that my smashed up foot is all healed up (sorta), I gave my scooter another try. I have a Honda Silverwing. It's huge: like 600 cc and top speed 120 mph. Rune and I went on a long ride together through the countryside. It was beautiful. The only drawback was the bugs. Seriously, we flew through clouds of nasty May bugs and their guts spattered far and wide. It got so bad I had to search frantically for a gutless hole to peer through lest I end up in Beaumont. (Oh horrors!) My emotions took wide swings during the ride. Most of the time I was disgusted, I mean greasy guts tainting the scenery ain't ideal. SOmetimes I fest sorry for the little critters. Here they are, minding their business, creating future windshield adornments, probably enjoying the scenery as well, and SPLAT. Their assholes go right through their windpipes. Then I'd get angry. I mean, how dare they sully my crystal clear windshield with their innards. have they now death etiquette? Then, I'd get surreal. What if we were in some giant's world and suddenly got pasted across their windshields. And instead of grieving over their loss, they just gagged a few times and annoyingly wiped out guts off with a shop towel. Anyway, all in all it was fun, bug guts and all--fun for everyone but the bugs.

Posted by elisa at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hey all--I'm looking for a few extraordinary kids--those who have overcome obstacles like hardships and challenges, those who have contributed significantly to the world--you know what I mean. We need a few to appear on national TV with me on shows like Montel, Oprah, Jane Pauley, etc. If you know anyone, email me at emedhus@earthlink.net!!

Posted by elisa at 02:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I can't believe summer isn't even over yet and the stores in our neighborhood already have their Halloween stuff in. I don't mind that so much as what it represents--the dreaded holiday season is just around the corner. Ugh. Sometimes it seems like there are only two times of year: The October 31st through January 1st madness and those other months we spend reviving our nerves, replenishing our pocket books, and restoring our bodies back to health. It isn’t enough we have to plan a Thanksgiving dinner for 37 annoying relatives, clean up the culinary aftermath before it qualifies as a disaster area, shop for a demanding and finicky boss, decorate the house with tacky knick-knacks, erect moth-eaten inflatable snowmen and rust-encrusted reindeer in the front yard, untangle strings of lights wound up tightly into balls the size of German Shepherds and put on a New Years Party the very thought of which makes us feel hungover. Toss wildly excited kids on extreme sugar highs into the mix and, well, sometimes it’s easy to forget what you’re supposed to be celebrating to begin with! If you’re anything like me, you have love-hate relationships with those formidable months. Let’s see how your holiday season compares:

Ten Signs That You’re Succumbing to Holiday Insanity

1. Your wallet is empty of all but fluffs of lint and receipts dating back to July 1995.
2. Your children complain they’re bored more than 1,265 times a day.
3. Your children contain so much refined sugar in their diets that hummingbirds are beginning to nest in their hair.
4. Your children engage in frenzied activities: spinning at hurl-level G-forces, slamming their bodies into every wall, and driving everyone within a ten-mile radius completely nuts.
5. They submit constantly changing versions of their holiday wish lists, most of which have “coming out in paperback soon” emblazoned on the cover page. Their final revisions usually hit your desk after you’ve done all your shopping. And nine times out of ten, you’re way off the mark.
6. The total cost of the items on that list could subsidize the construction and operation of a brand new naval fleet for the Dominican Republic.
7. You toy with the idea of putting a third lien on your mortgage.
8. You toy with the idea on selling your children to the highest bidder. Or the lowest. Whoever commits before the end of the year.
9. You toy with the idea of converting to a religion that regards holidays as the work of the Devil.
10. You toy with the idea of running away from home. And your packed bags are standing by the front door just in case.

ANyone want to join me? Next train leaves this afternoon.

Posted by elisa at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I think one of my pet peeves about school is how often I have to do these critical last minute errands. You know what I'm talking about, people. "Mom! I need index cards by tomorrow! It's a life and death emergency!" And all this at 9:00 PM. Hmmm. Mind you, nothing takes the place of "I really need to have that pair of pants I saw at Hot Topics" as life and death issues are concerned, but the squeak of the voice is a tip off that you kid's about to break. Now you're her new best friend. Yeah, That kid who greeted you with a roll of the eyes and a string of "Like, whatever"'s is now your lifelong pal, willing to lay down on a sizzling set of rusty railroad tracks before a locomotive--all for your benefit. Frankly, I like to taek full advantage of the situation with "Sure, I'll go get them for you, as soon as the dishwasher is unloaded." They really love this. You can tell by the way they heave that deep sigh of satisfaction and roll their eyeballs back in the heads in ecstasy. When they're done, they're also the wash to put in the dryer, the dogs to bathe, the grout to clean, and some closets to organize, but take heed, you have to be very skilled at figuring out how much they can take before they go ballistic and fashion index cards from the skin of their siblings. You be the judge. Me, I like to live dangerously. Of course, since I homeschool some of them, I have only myself to blame for poor planning, though I try my best to foist the blame on anything and anyone who breathes and isn't as strong as me. The last few days, Erik's biology course has had me hopping. I had to go get some bags of dried beans so he could do an experiment on population carrying capacity, independent and dependent population growth factors, etc. Dont' ask me to explaim cuz I can't and wont. So I rush out to do that only to find that Michelle had eaten the last two bananas I was saving so (to my husband's delight) Erik could grow a bunch of fruit flies. I shudder to think about why she ate them, since I purposely picked the oldest, brownest and slimiest ones possible. But, her eating habits are another chapter altogether. Anyway, I decided to delegate school supply planning to the kids. They should do fine. As long as I don't see Hershey's Kisses and a troop of baboons on my grocery list, I'm holding the faith.

Posted by elisa at 09:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)